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Topics > Life in General > ID: 2536

Life is a B**ch we just got to make the best of it.

Posted Date: Aug 12th, 2010 17:29 | Hits: 1289

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  • Bjantiques
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Well Its Thursday night 22:37, and right now I am in hospital having had a cat scan yesterday, today they said they were analyzing the results and so I am now waiting for the results to be analyzed and talk to the consultant in the morning. (Friday)

Its going to be a major decision day as I will have to decide on having yet another bypass operation to get sufficient blood to my leg, or saying to hell with it cut the damd thing off and be done with.

Naturally until I know all the possible options and scenarios, I am left sitting here waiting and wondering.

No this is not a sick joke I am very serious I came into hospital Tuesday and I know so far I am extremely close to losing at least my left foot.

Will keep this post updated

UPDATE 1 Friday 13th

Wouldn't you just know it its Friday 13th.

After talking with the consultant I am faced with the following options.

On the one hand a major bypass operation going from the left upper chest area and tunneling all the way down to the leg with a very high risk of it not working for long if at all, and if it works then it needing to be repeated sooner or later probably sooner. There is also the risk of internal infection / rejection

The alternative
Amputation of the leg with en end to the constant pain I have been living with for the last several years.

Needless to say this was no easy decision to make.
The consultant definitely was not happy with having to face ether option but I could tell he was not convinced that option 1 (the bypass) would work considering the number of previous operations I have had.

After looking at the options and taking into consideration what each option would mean and how it would affect my life for the future I have decided to take the amputation.

I am not prepared to continue on with bypasses that might or might not work and I can not see why this one would work when all the others have failed.

At least with an amputation If things go right I could be back to walking with out crutches within the year. where as with the by pass that is not an option.

So as harsh as it sounds I see it as the only chance of improving my current quality of life. and on Wednesday (18th Aug) It will happen.

No I am not happy about it but on the other hand I am not down in the dumps as I have known I ran the risk of losing a leg for 7 years now.

Life just likes to bit you on the a$$ at times and you just got to bit back.

UPDATE 2 Saturday 14th

Well its Saturday evening 21.30 to be more accurate. I am more convinced that I have made the correct decision.

When I arrived at the hospital on Thursday I could manage to hobble to the toilet without my crutches (it was about 15 paces there and back. This morning I found that I could put almost no weight on the foot and had to use one crutch to make the short distance round trip. This evening I am reduced to using both crutches.

This is in my opinion a very clear indication that things are going down hill fast.

I have a natural aversion to using pain killers and sleeping pills. this has always been the case even after major surgery. I have always used will power to fight off pain.

Up to now I am still resisting talking pain killers but its getting more and more difficult to shut it out. I really do not want to take any until after the operation, as I figure that way If i do have to use them after the op they will have maximum effect as my body has not been allowed to get used to them before hand. I am naturally going to do my utmost to resist taking any, but if needs must...

In the mean time keeping busy and staying positive and

lets see what tomorrow brings.

UPDATE 3 Monday 16th

Well its Monday evening so basically 2 days to go.

I didn't post yesterday as it was very quiet day being Sunday.

I really want to know is there a special diploma that people must study for and attain to become cooks in hospital kitchens? The food I am sure starts off nice and fresh and of good quality. So what the hell happens between it being delivered and being served up. You really want to know??? Ok here is the secret, they let the hospital kitchen cooks loose on it. (By the way I use the term cooks very loosely and apologize if i offend any real cooks.) These people then proceed to deliberately turn the perfectly good food they were supplied with into indescribable messes.

They are very crafty, if you have had the misfortune to be in hospital for any length of time have you noticed that IF (and it is very rare but it does happen) the food does look good then the better it looks the colder it is? so you still end up either leaving it or eating crap.

Anyway I digress lol so back to the matter at hand.

The operation is going ahead on Wednesday and It is scheduled to start at 13.30 UK time and should last about 1 hour. I have been told there will then be about 3 hours in recovery before being brought back to the ward

It is apparently going to be an above the knee amputation which means it will be a bit more difficult to re learn to walk as I will need to compensation made for the fact there is no knee joint.

As far as I am concerned it just means more effort will be needed as I have no intention of letting it slow me down if i can help it.

UPDATE 4 Tuesday 17th

There are now just 14 and a half hours to go.

All the papers are signed, my obs are ok with blood pressure good pulse 48 so still nice and calm and collected.

I did start this post a couple of hours ago but I had to break off making it as I had a new client signup and I have spent the last two hours teaching him how to ftp and how to use the basics of cpanel lol.

Thats one good and positive way to lead up to the operation making a sale and training the person lol.

Ok its now just on 23.00 so I am going to close out and will be back on after the operation.

Behave I dont want to have to slap any wrists when I get back on :-)

UPDATE 5 WEDNESDAY 18TH

This is Wendy, just letting you all know that BJ just arrived back on the ward after his operation. He is currently very sleepy from the morphine but everything seems to have gone according to plan.

UPDATE 6 Thursday 19TH

On Wednesday the operation started at 14.15 and was completed just before 16.00 . They brought me back to the ward around 18.00 and apparently I asked Wendy's friend that had come along to sit with her if Wendy was ok and the second thing was to get Wendy logged into here and make the post for me.

I slept till around 2 am and basically just laid awake from then on. At about 4 am I got that most vital thing i needed

- a Coffee, black , 2 sugars. at 10.30 am the physio arrived and assisted me in getting out of bed and into a chair I then had to practice this simple move of getting in and getting out of bed a couple, times

After lunch, in fact some time after lunch (around 15.15) I got out of bed and into a chair totally on my own

Its now midnight and I have been awake all day so hopefully I will sleep well when I go to sleep?

The gory details for those interested are the surgeon made the cut about 4 inches (10 or 12 cm) above the left knee and the operation went very smoothly once they managed to get me to sleep.

UPDATE 7 Sundday 22 August 2010

Well I have now made several attempts to get this update done with nothing to show for it it is a slow proceess. I am falling asleep at the key board

UPDATE 8 Wednesday 25 August 2010

It is exactly  7 days since  I had the leg removed and I am back home. I left te hosptal at  18.30 and arrived  at  19.00

I was actually discharged at  11.15 but had to wait for the doctors letter and the parmacy to bring up the madications I hav to take, and naturally wait for the ambulance service transport to take me.

For  further  details on how i am doing  wit  my prosthetic leg Go Here

 

 

 

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Member's comment

Betina  Aug 29th, 2010
You are an amazing person and I am glad to have shared in your story. Please know that your passion for life (and your humor as shown in the above post...) is truly a remarkable healing power . Stay strong and stay happy my friend!

Bjantiques  Aug 21st, 2010
Peter: Hey Bill, I cannot believe you wrote all this, like you were writing for another person, I think wou
rest assured the only bit not posted by me is the one posted on the 18th
I have given wendy accessto my accounts to keep them sorted out.

It Is Happening to me and I am writing about it?
Tomorrow I will post the latest information and rest assured it is mostly good news.

Peter  Aug 21st, 2010
Hey Bill, I cannot believe you wrote all this, like you were writing for another person, I think would have been moaning the the time from the first day, recently we chatted and you didnt mention anything of this to me, I do pray that you recover fully soon.
Bless your Positiveness.

Bjantiques  Aug 18th, 2010
Cerberus: We are expecting You back as soon as possible, but please focus on Yourself for a while after the op
Thanks


Its 7am and I will be getting ready soon so this will be the last post till after the operation is over.

Just had blood pressure checked and its good so is my pulse rate at 54 very stable.
the killer is i not allowed anything now and I could kill for a cup of coffee.

Cerberus  Aug 17th, 2010
We are expecting You back as soon as possible, but please focus on Yourself for a while after the operation - take some time to rest and recover.

Rob

Bjantiques  Aug 17th, 2010
update number 4 for Tuesday the 17th posted.

Coach Gia  Aug 16th, 2010
Hi Bill, I always admire your strength and courage you will be just fine!

Thank you for keeping things real, keep on keeping on!

Love ya,

Coach Gia

Bjantiques  Aug 16th, 2010
update Monday 16th added

the_lensmaster  Aug 15th, 2010
Bjantiques: Harsh but necessary in my opinion - at least I was the one that had the final say it has not bee
Sure you 're right in your decision and I admit "What I would have done myself?"
I am happy with your high spirit to conduct the best of all in this circumstance and hope to heard you again in 6 months time , just to say I feel better now!

Regards(Alex)
Here in Melbourne , a lot of rain for weeks during winter

"Que Dieu vous benisse dans cette epreuve"

Jim Allen III  Aug 15th, 2010
Sorry to hear the choices. I believe you made the best of the two. Considering your past and continued challenges. You have chosen wisely. On the other hand as one that deals with great pain on a daily basis. Quit trying to be a hardball, take the damn pills. You won't be such a curmudgeon and become a more likeable person. (I know from experience, when I get disagreeable, the family says it is time for your pill!) You will still be a tough old bird, so take the damn painkillers. You aren't the only one suffering, when trying to tough it out. The people around you suffer too.!


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