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Topics > Life in General > ID: 1398

Job application

Posted Date: Oct 27th, 2008 19:19 | Hits: 274
Info Page: network marketing

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  • Bjantiques
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This is claimed to be  an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in

Arkansas

. They hired him because he was so funny.....



NAME: Kenneth Way

(Grumpy Old Bastard)



SEX:

Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)



DESIRED POSITION:

Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place



DESIRED SALARY:

$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.



EDUCATION:

Yes.



LAST POSITION HELD:

Target for middle management hostility.



PREVIOUS SALARY

: A lot less than I'm worth.



MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:

My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.



REASON FOR LEAVING:

It sucked.



HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:

Any.



PREFERRED HOURS:

1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.



DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:

Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .



MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:

If I had one, would I be here?



DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:

Of what?



DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:

I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'



HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:

I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell

 

me.



DO YOU SMOKE?:

On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!



WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:

Living in the

Bahamas

with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.



NEAREST RELATIVE....

7 miles



DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:

Oh yes, absolutely.

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Member's comment

kaphoen  Oct 28th, 2008
Yes... being somewhat of a grumpy, I almost broke into a smile

pplcheryl63  Oct 27th, 2008
This is a funny one

Bjantiques  Oct 27th, 2008
glnagy: This is funny stuff, but even while I might be tempted to hire this dude myself I am not so sure jus
well true or not its a good one Garnet.
I was looking for something in my old emails and happened to find this one while I was at it, so I figured why not share it and add a smile here and there

glnagy  Oct 27th, 2008
This is funny stuff, but even while I might be tempted to hire this dude myself I am not so sure just how true it is? LOL...


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